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The Monster InsideI am always Cold,
I am always Sad,
I am always Afraid,
I am always Depressed,
I am always Hurt,
I am always Breaking,
I am always Me,
But I will always be a monster.
The World As I See ItMy eyes are always drooping.
Not because of sleepiness,
But because of the sadness in my heart.
They are always half open, half closed.
I see half the world around me.
I can see half of life.
I don't feel joy as I used to.
Not as eyes closed,
But as eyes opened to new things.
Those eyes slowly closed of emotions.
I never aloud myself to feel these things.
I never felt anything.
I was a rock.
I was cold everyday.
Like a winter breeze never ending.
I was emotionless,
And never aloud myself to be free,
Or to be the child I wanted to be.
What is Happiness?"I will never experience 'true' happiness"
Is what myself tells me.
Most times I believe it,
Other times I agree.
My self esteem is very low,
And my happiness isn't high,
But I act happy so others can be.
On the inside,
I am nothing but a monster.
A monster looking for happiness,
And a reason for living.
Painful LoveIt hurts...
All over, my body aches.
It aches of sadness.
It aches of depression.
It aches of betrayal.
It aches of love.
I am afraid to love.
I am afraid to be loved.
Or am I afraid of rejection?
In all my life,
I have always been rejected.
By old friends,
And those I held dear to my heart.
Permanent EmotionThe pain inside me can never be healed.
Where happiness once lied,
There is now depression.
I blame no one but me,
For these are my own mistakes.
I cannot fix them,
And neither can you.
For this emotion is apart of me,
Thinking...Sometimes I have various thoughts,
Thoughts of doubts and futures,
Thoughts of depression and pasts,
Thoughts of hurt and Thoughts of *******.
The Tears of My HeartThe tears drop down like rain,
Taking Love, Trust, and Happiness with it.
One by one, they are stolen from me,
Until there is nothing left.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More